FLIRT

Getting Through My Break Up

flirtinto — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 14:52:24 +0000

Cover of Swingers (Miramax Collector's Series)

It’s been about a month and I’m still feeling down. Yes, its not my first break up but its still hard. This is what I’ve been doing to get through it.

1. Bought a big bag of shortbread cookies with chocolate in the middle. I ate five on opening of the bag. Delicious!

2. Thought about him.

3. Made excuses for not working out.

4. Ate more cookies. Ordered chinese food, thai food, pizza.

5. Did not bitch about it to my friends. Been there done that. But still thought about our relationship. Did I make a mistake?

6. Went to a party and let a guy flirt with me. He worked really hard to get my number. It was nice but I’m not ready. At least I know that.

7. Thought about working out but I walked everyday as an alternative. Ate more cookies. Did not do any dishes or laundry. Lucky to have plenty of dishes and clothes.

8. Some guy at the doctors office tried to pick me up. He was funny and cute but I’m still not in that head space. It always happens when you’re not looking. Right?

9. I broke down and I called him. After 15 minutes, I was reminded of what was not right in the relationship. Not a blame thing just a realization.

10. Thought about what I missed about us. I miss the sex. It was great. He used to give me a full body rub every time and then some. We laughed a lot together and just spending time together doing nothing was fun. But that does not a relationship make. I do believe timing is everything. You both have to be ready.

11. Watched the movie Swingers. The movie is from 1996 about a guy getting over a bad break up. Vince Vaughn’s character is hilarious. This is a different alternative to a chick flick but I think women would enjoy this movie too.

12. Got more cookies. Taught myself how to make some new drinks at home. Retail therapy!!

13. Went to TIFF. Didn’t see any stars though but great cinema. Go see Black Swan with Natalie Portman when it comes out.

14. I still managed to go to work and be somewhat productive. No more cookies. Decided its time to clean up and I’m going to plan a little vacation.

15. Thought about a “back up”. You know someone you call just to keep your mind off your problems or just for sex. My old fling is still calling and leaving messages(Its been 6 months now?) even though I never returned the call. I’m sure that’s what he’s calling for. But I think I’d get some new blood for that. I don’t think I’m that far gone. But man…they can be fun!

16. Finally cleaned up at home. Time to get out my funk. I plan to hit the gym on Monday to work off all of those cookies.

Burned

flirtinto — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 10:47:27 +0000

I tuned into one of those girls. I haven’t posted in all this time because I thought I found the guy. I was wined and dined and it was great! But yeah, it’s over and I’m pissed! Not at him – but at myself.

It’s not as if I didn’t know better. I let him take the lead and enjoyed all the attention. But I really liked him as well. But, iIt wasn’t until a few months into the relationship that he told me that about his previous girlfriend. Well, it was one of those long term, common law relationships where she wanted half and he couldn’t believe it.

He swore up and down that he felt nothing for her. They hadn’t seen each other in over a year. But really, it is still like going through a divorce. My first instinct was to get the hell out of there but he is one of those goodhearted gentlemen. So, I decided that I shouldn’t be so hasty. There are many people out there whose relationships don’t work out. I thought that we could take it slow and we were really enjoying each other’s company. But he is a person nonetheless. Seven months later ( four months after the final degree from the judge where she did get plenty but not half) we are over. I can’t be mad at him because he is bitter and afraid that any women he dates will turn around and take so much financially and emotionally from him. I can’t compete with that. It could be he just wants to play the field, which I did encourage him to do but its not my problem anymore. I finally wised up and ended it but damn it hurts.

Texts from last night

flirtinto — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:26:17 +0000

: Image via Wikipedia

“I can’t wait to taste you!”

Those were the last words from Frank who I met one Saturday night. By text of course because no one actually communicates by phone right?

I met him while out for a drink with some friends at 2 Cats. He was there with a group celebrating his buddy’s impeding wedding. An evening of flirting and drinks. He was cute and a bit obnoxious but the booze gave him confidence I’m sure. He worked on me all night so I thought giving him my number would be harmless. He texted me before we even left for our next hot spot, Pravda Vodka Bar.

Personally, I do text but I don’t like the fact that people think this is the way to get to know someone. I think its just laziness. I use it for people I know and like and just short notes. Ah…maybe I’m just boring. But I stopped texting. If I’m willing to put some effort into talking, I expect the same.

—–

Has anyone seen this site? It is just too darn funny and a good pick me up. I secretly scroll through the site from work and I’m sure the IT dept has been enjoying it as well. This is the kind of texting you should avoid in the dating world but its fun for friends.

www.textsfromlastnight.com

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba
—
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast…
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currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
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I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I’m your dealer, not your friend, C’mon people.
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I tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she’ll start to question her goals in life… i think its only encouraging her
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i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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I just followed up on a noise complaint…only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn’t bring myself to bust that party.
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never thought i’d see a ”climb of shame” until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..

Blast from the past

flirtinto — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:39:39 +0000

January seems to have brought out some old acquaintances that want to get in touch. Most notably is a guy I haven’t seen in almost 10 years. We had a sixth month liaison. I use that term because it was one of those hot sex filled encounters and I mean every time! I saw him one night in a bar and he was on stage singing. I honestly think something hit me because I just wanted him. Being a bold woman, I bought him a drink and things went from there. I was under no illusion that he was boyfriend material but it gave me an amazing rush and I loved the craziness….the car, the bathroom, a random backyard etc. The wild ride ended when I mutual friend mentioned his wife and children. That just dulled all the excitement for me and I ended it. His response to me when I asked him about this was…”You only asked if I had a girlfriend and I don’t.” Yeah…right. When the shock finally wore off months later I was able to be cordial as I would see him around from time to time.
So, he wanted to get together with me because he wanted to catch up. I actually thought it was nice but on the other hand I was worried that something serious was up so I agreed to it. Boy am I naive. Our visit was pleasant. Full of compliments on how great I look and he can’t believe I’m not married with kids yet. I think he is looking to hook up again because his parting words to me were “What would you like to do next week?” Followed by lots of hugs and kisses on the cheek that wandered dangerously close to my lips.
I guess I’ve been pegged as one of those women who men think need something to fill my time because I’m not in a relationship. You know….I have my own money, my own place but looking for some d*ck to keep my happy.
He’s called 5 times this week and I’m not returning the call or picking up.

New dating resolve

flirtinto — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:22:24 +0000

: Image by Eustaquio Santimano via Flickr

I lied. I’ve decided to just date as many people that I find interesting until I find someone that I like enough to date exclusively. It’s one of my resolutions for the new year. Why restrict yourself I say! I’m also going to be more relaxed in my expectations and analyze less (women tend to do that alot) and enjoy all the moments.

The holidays were great as I spent time catching up with family. On the man front, I did not hear from any of my gentlemen (they wished me well before the holidays though). Hmm….I guess I’m writing it off as busy with family etc because I did not contact anyone during the holidays either.
Mr. Foodie is the first to resurface so we’ll see where the new year takes us. As for the others, I would like another date with ROM guy, haven’t heard from the Redhead and the others have just fizzled out but I’m feeling positive that I will meet someone thats right for me very soon.

I did go on a first date with Dart man from Lavalife speed dating. He gets this nickname because everytime I looked at him right in the eye, his eyes quickly darted away. I hope it was just nervousness but he was on the quiet side. I asked most of the questions and he answered them but didn’t really ask me questions. He’s 44 and works for himself. He likes movies, not much of a a traveller, and plays on the computer alot. He mentioned that he lives with his father. I didn’t ask under what circumstances but I haven’t come across that situation in quite some time. After an hour and a few awkward silences, I called it a night. I just figured we were not a good fit but to my surprise he emailed me and thanked me for the date and to inquire about going out for dinner or a movie. He said he’d call but we all know there are no guarantees on that front … Seriously, I would go out with him again just to see if it would be a little more relaxed.

Here’s hoping my dating stories get more interesting this year!

The Age Old Question

flirtinto — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 02:43:28 +0000

I’ve taken a break to enjoy the holidays, entertain out of town guests and watch alot of movies. So far, The Young Victoria, Up in the Air and Avatar are all great choices. It’s Complicated is not as good as I had hoped it would be.

I had my second date with ROM guy last week. We had a really nice dinner and we definitely enjoyed each other’s company. I am wondering how old he is. Yes, age is just a number but I honestly can’t guess. Truthfully, I think someone in there 60′s is just too far above my thresh hold. That would be more than 20 year age difference! He’s not in his 60′s but he is greying somewhat. He is very attractive and I am attracted to him but he makes these jokes about me being very young. I wonder if he is uncomfortable with my age too? (Yes, I checked out his body and he looks quite good!)
I don’t believe that all men want to go out with really young girls. I believe that attraction is important but also compatibility. There are plenty of articles that weigh the pros and cons of dating someone older but I’m not in my 20s and I have a good idea of what I want and where I’m going. It’s almost a new year. Hopefully, I will get some clarity on this.

He accepted my apology

flirtinto — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 06:56:49 +0000

: Image by obenson via Flickr

You won’t believe it but I saw Foodie guy again! You know…the one that dumped me recently. I am glad that I did apologize and its great that he did accept my apology and want to get together again. I didn’t bring up my bad behaviour hoping that I could just ignore it but he was mature enough to want to talk about it. I just reiterated that I had a bad moment and I was sorry for my immaturity and wanted to put it behind me. He responded positively and said that it is important to have open and honest communication with each other.
Foodie guy is someone I am interested in getting to know. But I think I’m unsure about how to proceed. He is about 10 years older than me, divorced with kids. I’m not sure how to relate to someone in this situation because his priorities and responsibilities are much different from mine. It is the holidays and he is going out of town to see his children and I’m glad that they are important to him.
The age difference doesn’t bother me but I do wonder about what it would be like to be with someone that has experienced marriage, children, building a career while I’m still working on these things.
But I won’t get a head of myself. I am going to try going with the flow and just seeing what happens. It’s tough because I like to analyze things and do the what ifs but I think this is a great opportunity to work on myself.

I did go on first date this week with someone a met at the Connecting Singles event at the ROM. We had a nice time and agreed to go out again. But for the second time, I wonder if dating more than one person is a good idea. I’m getting too comfortable with the initial stages of meeting someone that when it comes to deciding on whether you are really interested in one person the excitement of the new person sometimes is more of an appeal than continuting on and getting into the meat of getting to know a person. I’m worried that I just may want to date and not really have a relationship. Definitely some more work to be done on myself.

Keep moving

flirtinto — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:25:58 +0000

I’ve been beating myself up over Foodie guy but have to learn to “woman up” and take my lumps.

But I guess I wasn’t feeling too badly because i went out with The Traveller, a man I met in the summer time. Our first date was very civilized as we went for High Tea. But, our second date that took place 3 months later was just as nice. He’s a businessman and travels quite a bit. We enjoyed dinner at a nice seafood restaurant and over wine he invited me to Paris! Oh la la! He described a wonderful trip of a month (because he must have forgot that I have a job to get back to) where we would tour around Paris, visit the south and of course end off in Monte Carlo. As I listened to him, sipping my wine and enjoying the atmosphere of the restaurant, I thought I’ll just go with the flow. You never know, the trip could happen but the thought made me smile.

Dumped!

flirtinto — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 21:06:56 +0000

I think I blew it. It’s amazing how we self sabotage relationships and I realize I am guilty of this.

I had my third date with Foodie guy. We had a great night! I really, really enjoyed his company and I still can’t understand why? Did I make assumptions about his character? I did! We went to the movies and had a bite after and lots of great conversation of teasing and getting to know each other. I sat there thinking to myself what is this guy’s angle? As I contined with our evening and had a few drinks my thoughts verbalized themselves. I started to question him and wonder what was he after? What does he want with me?
I went from this cool, relaxed woman to being a bit paranoid, judgemental and a bit of a nut. We all have unsteady moments and its best to have them in private but this one slipped through. I should have stopped myself. It was very uncomfortable and he was nice enough to not just get up and leave.
He drove me home and we said our good byes but no plans to get together again. I felt it…I knew it. I did not leave a good impression with this guy.
I eventually received the dreaded email that we are just not compatible. I felt bad and sad at the same time. SELF SABATOGE STRIKES AGAIN!
When will I realize that there are nice guys out there who don’t have an agenda? I’ve had many weird dates but not a lot of horrible dates where I’m disillusioned by men. All I can do is chalk up this up to experience and getting a grip on myself. I have to do better. He could have been a great friend or something more and I’ll never get the chance to know. I replied to his email and apologized for my behaviour.

I’m thinking that I need to spend some time working on me.

Second Chances Can Surprise You

flirtinto — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 03:55:19 +0000

There’s a documentary called Single Girl Diaries (launched in 2006) that follows the lives of 5 woman aged 27 to 42 “who provide a raw and unscripted view at what life as a ‘single girl’ on the dating scene is really like”. The show is over now but they are showing episodes on Cosmo TV. I recently saw an episode where they went to a singles pool event. One of the characters made this comment that many of us are afraid of commitment in the respect that its safer to just keep dating a few people and not settle on one because you might be missing out on something. They may be on to something here.

I had my second date with Foodie Guy last week. (I hope you’ve all realized by now that names have been changed to protect the guilty and myself!) I have to go back and rename him from a previous post because we actually had a great date. The conversation flowed so easily and we have some similar interests. And he knows so much about food!! I wouldn’t say that I’m sold completely but I am interested in seeing him again. And yes…he did pay for the date.

For the other guy, Lee, he has been rotated out. It was quite apparent that he and I have some fundamental differences. I am the type of person who likes to try new things (a play, a hike, interesting conversation). Unfortunately, he was more interested in bragging about himself, or just going out to eat all the time and very bland food at that. The foodie in me just can’t handle it.